Where in the final truth is revealed for all you lucky, lucky people.
Well, I promised a post, but i'm short on time. There was another post, from yesterday. it was expunged and taken into protective custody. I can show you where it is if you ask me very very nicely.
So, to give your visual cortex something to interpret I've decided to do a lil post about Discordianism.
The really REAL truth about discordianism is this:
It is the only VALID philosophy for our fractured post-modern times. This fact has been whitewashed and obfuscated throughout history, by the powers that BE. It's principle document is thought to date back to the Mesopotamian period but was only unearthed in the 1950s; in a dumpster behind a bowling alley.
Where can you get your hands on this sacred document? Why, right here!
Enjoy. I suggest flicking through it at high speed and reading the odd paragraph. It is very potent stuff and you really don't want to expose your brain to too much of it at once, lest you suffer a psychotic episode from such accelerated enlightenment (This is actually just an extract. The full text can be found here) :
PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
* or *
How I Found Goddess
And What I Did To Her
When I Found Her
THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER
Wherein Is Explained
Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing
About Absolutely Anything
Published By:
LOOMPANICS UNLIMITED
PO BOX 1197
Port Townsend, WA 98368
$5.00(cheap)
Catalogs:$2.00
Transcribed to 1's and 0's by Druel the Chaotic, WPI Discordian Society
Cabal of the Unemployed
mpython@wpi.wpi.edu
mpython@*.gnu.ai.mit.edu
{calendar entered by /AHM/THX }
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
INTRODUCTION
You hold in your hands one the Great Books of our century fnord.
Some Great Books are recognized at once with a fusilade of critical
huzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's ULYSSES. Others appear almost furtively
and are only discovered 50 years later, like MOBY DICK or Mendel's great
essay on genetics. The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA entered our space-time continuum
almost as unobtrusively as a cat-burglar creeping over a windowsill.
In 1968, virtually nobody had heard of this wonderful book. In
1970,hundreds of people coast to coast were talking about it and asking the
identity of the mysterious author, Malaclypse the Younger. Rumors swept
across the continent, from New York to Los Angeles, from Seattle to St.
Joe. Malaclypse was actually Alan Watts, one heard. No,said another legend
-- the PRINCIPIA was actually the work of the Sufi Order. A third, very
intriguing myth held that Malaclypse was a pen-name for Richard M. Nixon,
who had allegedly composed the PRINCIPIA during a few moments of lucidity.
I enjoyed each of these yarns and did my part to help spread them. I was
also careful never to contradict the occasional rumors that I had actually
written the whole thing myself during an acid trip.
The legendry, the mystery, the cult grew slowly. By the mid-1970's,
thousands of people, some as far off as Hong Kong and Australia, were
talking about the PRINCIPIA, and since the original was out of print by
then, xerox copies were beginning to circulate here and there.
When the ILLUMINATUS trilogy appeared in 1975, my co-author, Bob
Shea, and I both received hundreds of letters from people intrigued by the
quotes from the PRINCIPIA with which we had decorated the heads of several
chapters. Many, who had already heard of the PRINCIPIA or seen copies,
asked if Shea and I had written it, or if we had copies available. Others
wrote to ask if it were real, or just something we had invented the way
H.P. Lovecraft invented the NECRONOMICON. We answered according to our
moods, sometimes telling the truth, sometimes spreading the most Godawful
lies and myths we could devise fnord.
Why not? We felt that this book was a true Classic (literatus
immortalis) and, since the alleged intelligentsia had not yet
discovered it, the best way to keep its legend alive was to encourage
the mythology and the controversy about it. Increasingly, people wrote
to ask me if Timothy Leary had written it, and I almost always told
them he had, except on Fridays whem I am more whimsical, in which case
I told them it had been transmitted by a canine intellgence --
vast,cool,and unsympathic -- from the Dog Star, Sirius.
Now, at last, the truth can be told.
Actually, the PRINCIPIA is the work of a time-travelling
anthropologist from the 23rd Century. He is currently passing among us
as a computer specialist, bon vivant and philosopher named Gregory
Hill. He has also translated several volumes of Etruscan erotic
poetry, under another pen-name, and in the 18th Century was the
mysterious Man in Black who gave Jefferson the design for the Great
Seal of the United States.
I have it on good authority that he is one of the most
accomplished time-travelers in the galaxy and has visited Earth many
times in the past,using such cover-identities as Zeno of Elias,
Emperor Norton, Count Cagliostro, Guilliame of Aquaitaine, etc.
Whenever I question him about this, he grows very evasive and attempts
to persuade me that he is actually just another 20th Century Earthman
and that all my ideas about his extraterrrestrial and extratemporal
origin and delusions. Hah! I am not that easily deceived. After all, a
time-travelling anthropologist would say just that, so that he could
observe us without his presense causing cultureshock.
I understand that he has consented to write an Afterward to
this edition. He'll probably contradict everything I've told you, but
don't believe a word he says fnord. He is a master of the deadpan
put-on, the plausible satire, the philosophical leg-pull and all the
branches of guerilla ontology.
For full benefit to the Head, this book should be read in
conjunction with THE ILLUMINOIDS by Neal Wilgus (Sun Press,
Albuquerque, NM) and ZEN WITHOUT ZEN MASTERS by Camden Benares (And/Or
Press, Berkeley, California). "We are operating on many levels here",
as Ken Kesey used to say.
In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Things go on as they
always have, getting weirder all the time.
Hail Eris. All hail Discordia. Fnord?
-Robert Anton Wilson
International Arms and Hashish Inc.
Darra Bazar, Kohat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A jug of wine,
A leg of lamb
And thou!
Beside me,
Whistling in
the darkness.
Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order...
- The Book of Uterus 1;5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE
GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST
AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT &
POPE POOP.
GREATER POOP:Are you really serious or what?
MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness
humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.
GP: Maybe you are just crazy.
M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The
reason that I am crazy is because they are true.
GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.
GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives?
M2: To dissolve them.
GP: Will you develop that point?
M2: No.
GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?
M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the
meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax."
GP: Is that the answer to my question?
M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question
is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!
SUSPENDED ANNIHILATION
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ODD# II/2,xii;68Chs3136
Principia Discordia
or
How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her
When I found Her
being a Beginning Introduction to
The Erisian Mysterees
Which is Most Interesting
-><-
as Divinely Revealed to
My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC
Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold
and HIGH PRIEST of
THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)
HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
Dedicated to The Prettiest One
The Upstart of one hand clapping
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- JOSHUA NORTON CABAL -
Surrealists, Harlequinists, Absurdists and Zonked Artists Melee
POEE
is one manifestation of
THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
about which
you will learn more
and understand
less
We
are a tribe
of philosophers, theologians,
magicians, scientists,
artists, clowns,
and similar maniacs
who are intrigued
with
ERIS
GODDESS OF CONFUSION
and with
Her
Doings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Tell You: One must
still have chaos in one
to give birth to a
dancing star!
-Nietzsche
Getting a proper copy will be considered!